It is seldom I will sit down with an idea, and find myself unable to write. However, lately, each succeeding day brings up something new and challenging, ever more unexpected on so many levels. Usually quite exhausted at the end of the day, some of the shiny newness has worn a bit thin maybe. It’s not that I can’t still find wonderment in this strange life, or that the attainment of higher goals is not still active in my desires – the fulfillment of dreams makes infinitely more sense to me.
Maybe I have been too conditioned to be unbiased, it is just the sheer randomness of our universe seems oddly cruel and somehow unacceptable. But all you hear these days is gratitude, acceptance, blah blah blah… I tell you in all honestly, I took a free trial on a channel that is affiliated with a major network and there was the option to watch “the news” this evening. I could not stay there even ten seconds before I was totally distressed at what they were saying… seriously totally upset.
So back to my insulate experience in the postage stamp woods of my ephemeral life. Back to my version of over sixty-five, in America. I never think of age as an ending. It’s the adverts for cremation in the mail, the postcards offering to give me cash for my ugly house. The never-ending puffy official state packets that always say attention required, and I never do. So not going to play anymore. I’m just done.
To live your life uncensored, ever would be novel. To leave the global perspectives to higher minds of noble character, if they could be found, would be nice. I am forever astounded at the depth of the levels of misdirected people and the nonsense they are willing to exist within, and accept as unchangeable. It would be the very reason we are here, in order that some of this exquisite jewel be more finely crafted by our very hands, were we to only become focused and more familiar with self-discipline and awareness.
Tonight I will sleep in and out of high strangeness, of that I can be sure. But I’d come back a thousand times again, for the sheer adrenaline.
ephemeral spirit 